Love and Social Media

Courtesy of   opr.co.uk

Courtesy of opr.co.uk

Social media is changing everything about the way we live. Some people wake up and update their statuses or check their emails before getting out of bed in the morning. Physical communication has taken a seat second to social media in this generation. We meet our friends through Facebook and lovers on Instagram now. Instead of picking up the phone to call a relative, we send texts. Instead of visiting our loved ones, we use Skype. Dr. Rachna Jain explains four ways social media has changed our relationships in this day and age and why these changes should be recognized. “Social media is changing our relationship styles in several important ways.” said Dr. Jain, she explained that it allows people to communicate faster, social media makes it easy to overestimate the level of intimacy in a relationship, it exposes us to the social media epidemic and effects our self-esteem. We depend on social media for company, entertainment, events, business and more. Dr. Jain examined some of John Cacioppo’s research. “Cacioppo’s findings suggest that if a direct connection of yours is lonely, you are 52% more likely to be lonely,” said Dr. Jain, “if the  connection is a friend of a friend, 25% more lonely. If the connection is 3 degrees out (a friend of a friend of a friend), it’s 15%.” Social media has become a matchmaker for many. A lot of people see it as a potentially useful tool for dating however many feel it is also potentially harmful. On a social network, a person has the ability to portray the person they want to be viewed as through their site as opposed to the person they actually are. We keep our most embarrassing and private information off of our sites and only expose the attractive and interesting aspects of our being. Finding love this way can be really dangerous because the person in the situation may actually be a completely different person then they claim on a social network, physically and intellectually.

Social media has also been known to complicate marriages. “For some couples, the time spent on social networking is excessive. Instead of spending time on household or relationship priorities, too much emphasis is given to sitting around looking at the computer, checking out Facebook or Twitter.” Social media has become dangerous for us of late. 61% of people under the age of 25 55% of people over 25 have to view their Facebook and at least once a day according to statistics on the opposing views website.3 People are losing out on time communicating physically to communicating electronically. The connection between two is more appealing on screen than in person in this day and age.

According to an article in the Huffington post, “Your social media habits could be hurting your marriage, according to a new study out of the University of Oxford’s Internet Institute.”1 Researchers of the institute examined the relationships of 24,000 married people. They studied their use of different media channels and discovered that couples who communicate more often physically and verbally achieve a more satisfying relationship.

Social media has been proven to be a distraction in marriages. “Couples using more than five channels reported a 14 percent drop in marriage satisfaction, according to the Daily Mail.” It creates distance between partners giving both more opportunity and desire for infidelity or neglect. Trust is among one of the most important aspects in a relationship. “Trust is the deliberate and delicate balance between hope, belief and reliance,” wrote inspirational speaker, Jim Acetta in his article entitled “Trust in Relationships.” Partners need to be able to trust their partners when they are away from them in order to have a happy successful relationship. “Connecting with people from your past can cause issues such as a lack of trust and honesty in a relationship.” This causes suspicions for the opposing partner. If doubts are forming even when the two are together physically (via social network), it can be extremely toxic for the relationship. Once in a

TheBenefitsOfSocialMediaAccording to an article in the Huffington post, “Your social media habits could be hurting your marriage, according to a new study out of the University of Oxford’s Internet Institute.” Researchers of the institute examined the relationships of 24,000 married people. They studied their use of different media channels and discovered that couples who communicate more often physically and verbally achieve a more satisfying relationship.

Social media has been proven to be a distraction in marriages. “Couples using more than five channels reported a 14 percent drop in marriage satisfaction, according to the Daily Mail.” It creates distance between partners giving both more opportunity and desire for infidelity or neglect. Trust is among one of the most important aspects in a relationship. “Trust is the deliberate and delicate balance between hope, belief and reliance,” wrote inspirational speaker, Jim Acetta in his article entitled “Trust in Relationships.” Partners need to be able to trust their partners when they are away from them in order to have a happy successful relationship. “Connecting with people from your past can cause issues such as a lack of trust and honesty in a relationship.” This causes suspicions for the opposing partner. If doubts are forming even when the two are together physically (via social network), it can be extremely toxic for the relationship.Once in a committed relationship, the sudden appearances of people from the past in your social network inbox or newsfeed, can be toxic for your relationship.

There are some benefits to social media and intimate relationships. Many complain that being in long term relationships can make one feel as though they no longer have their own identity. “At the same time, some couples find that digital tools facilitate communication and support. A majority of those in couples maintain their own separate email and social media accounts, though a smaller number report sharing accounts and calendars. And fully two-thirds of couples share passwords.”1 A social network profile allows a person to have their own identity to extent. It is a place where they can be seen and heard without their partner beside them.

Social media typically has more of an effect on relationships than the public even realizes. “74% of the adult internet users who report that the internet had an impact on their marriage or partnership say the impact was positive. Still, 20% said the impact was mostly negative, and 4% said it was both good and bad.”1 The majority of marriages are not ended due to incidences occurring  in social media however,  the percentages are increasing rapidly. “A third of all divorce filings in 2011 contained the word “Facebook,” according to Divorce Online. And more than 80 percent of U.S. divorce attorneys say social networking in divorce proceedings is on the rise, according to the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers.

Hence the media has drastically transformed the way we connect with people. I have more than enough friends and colleagues who say they could not live without having a cell phone. Recently it has come to my attention that visiting a friend or family member without a phone call ahead of time is not considered “normal” anymore either. The fact that social media makes communicating impersonal, it is more difficult for trust to exist in relationships. Social media has the ability to keep us connected at times but most often isolate us from each other physically. We have come to accept the false perceptions of people from the people they portray themselves to be on social media. And we have become so accustomed to building ourselves on social media that we don’t desire physical communication anymore. Job interviews, job applications, college classes, home visits, in this generation can all be completed through an online website or application. Skype, applications to create online resumes, even college applications are done electronically now.  Social media is a revolution and as technology advances, along with it come new advances for social media. According to an article on webroot.com 54 percent of social network users are addicted to social media and 18 percent view their sites at least once every day.1 I depend on social media now but not because I want to. Even education has become a technologically controlled aspect of society and in order for students to communicate educationally they must be technologically savy.

If media has changed that much about our society, there is no question that it has altered the American perception of love.

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You want me to pay for Google????

I support “Net Neutrality”, which is expected being the extreme leftist I am. Setting restrictions on the internet, something that has always been open to the public is preposterous. It will only restrict the public more. The internet is the one place where people can speak freely and be heard by a mass of people. It’s our way of sharing news, facts and opinions. We stay connected using the internet. According to the Federal Communications Commission website, “On December 23, 2010, the Commission released the Open Internet Order, which established high-level rules requiring transparency and prohibiting blocking and unreasonable discrimination to protect Internet openness.” But in January of this year this order was challenged.

People are extremely dependent on social media in this generation. It is the driving source for businesses and corporations. It increases sales and advocates for them. The internet is, in a way, a free laborer for the public. It’s unjust to restrict the public from something that is free for all, something that never required regulating. “If it isn’t broken, don’t fix it.” The public has already commented on this matter over 4 million times according to a message given by Obama. The public depends on the media hence the high level of interest in the topic. It’s important the public have this freedom otherwise it can completely stop America’s progression.
Changing the freedom of the internet will draw people away from it, making our people even less aware of current events, holding our public back from learning. After watching a video of President Obama speaking on the issue I agreed with his points. One point he made specifically was “The idea of Net Neutrality, has unleashed the power of the internet and given innovators the chance to thrive. Abandoning these principals would threaten to end the internet as we know it,” the internet cannot thrive without users and setting restrictions on the internet will not urge users to abide by rules but simply find other means to get what they need or survive without it. “That’s why I’m urging the Federal Communications Commission to do everything they can to protect net neutrality for everyone,” said Obama.

You Need Facebook If You Want To Make Money . . .

Facebook can MAKE YOU in this world or BREAK YOU, so be careful when you decide to post that picture of you drinking coronas with your pals at 1 p.m. or that sexy picture in your bra and underwear in hopes for 100+ likes/follows. 56% of Americans 12 years old an up have a profile on a social networking site according to an article written by Jay Baer on the Convince and Convert Digital Marketing Advisors Website. Another article written by Anurag Mishra entitled Social Media at Work Really Matter? Social Media at Work Stats. Below is a table containing information on which social networks are most prominent from his article:

What Networks are “REQUIRED” for your job?

  • Network
  • Percentage
 LinkedIn  19.9%
 Facebook  19.7%
 Google apps that use Google +  19.5%
 Twitter  18.2%
 Other Opinion  12.7%
 Instagram  6%
 Pinterest  0%

If They Can Gain Fame, Why Can’t You?

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My Instagram in it’s early stages

I don’t know why it is so important for some of us to obtain a mass amount of followers and friends on social media networks. When I began my Instagram account one of my main objectives was assimilating many followers. In order to assure I reach my goal I promoted my Instagram using my Facebook account and texting my peers my account name so they can add me. After reaching a number of 1,000 followers I was comfortable with the amount and changed my focus to the amount of likes I received on my posts. I even inquired with those of my friends that receive many likes on their Instagram posts frequently how they do it. Each had different suggestions. My sister said it was more about what you post than any other aspect. She said you must satisfy the eyes of your viewers. She does not post frequently but when she does she always obtains over 50 likes. Most of her posts are personal but every once in a while she posts something all her followers can relate to. My former roommate suggested that it’s more about the time I publish my posts. If I post at a time when most of my viewers are on Instagram (the time of day my news feed is busiest) I will receive a mass amount of likes. I agree with both my sister and former roommate however I believe it is a combination of the two and according to articles written by Bubba, the Quality Logo Products mascot, and Kevan Lee. The blog post entitled “How Celebs Use Social Media for Self-Promotion and Charity (and How to Steal Their Tactics)” focuses on the steps celebrities take daily in social media to stay relevant in the media. Kevan Lee’s “The Art of Self- Promotion on the Media” focuses on tips and rules for promoting yourself on your social media networks.

Bubba notes “Most celebrities rapidly gain followers and fans on Facebook and Twitter because their fans want to stay updated on their lives, which means those celebs have plenty of opportunities to market to a captive audience” (Bubba). Celebrities do not even need much promoting when it comes to the becoming of a new social network account. The media promptly reports this information to the public encouraging them to follow/like/add the celebrity on their accounts.  Bubba also includes the benefits of social media on the lives of celebrities. Here’s an example:

“Another social media favorite (and pop star), Rihanna, used her Facebook page to engage fans in her 2011 album release; she leaked behind-the-scenes footage, song lyrics, and other Facebook-only fan information. During the release, she was performing on tour and was unable to promote the album traditionally (doing radio and TV appearances). Both of these strategies engaged fans to get them tons of publicity, followers, and album sales” (Bubba).

A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila

A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila

Social media serves as a strategy for celebrities to promote their businesses/brands. Believe it or not, many celebrities have attained their celebrity status from heavily promoting themselves on social media. For example, reality TV star Tila Tequila’s stardom began with MySpace. She began using MySpace to promote her music career and it took her a lot further then she expected. Within a year she was given her own reality game show entitled A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila in which a group of men and women battled each other for the prize of Tequila’s heart.

In Bubba’s article, he shares with us tips celebrities use for self-promotion; Provide exclusive value to your fans/followers, Do good with the influence you have and Involve and reward your biggest supporters. “Providing exclusive value to your fans/followers” simply means to get your viewers to pay attention to your posts by posting what interests them. “Doing good with the influence you have” means support a positive cause when you post. Viewers won’t take kindly to your negativity. Lastly “involving and rewarding your biggest supporters” means don’t be rude. Comment back on responses from viewers who frequently view your posts. Be positive!

Lee explains that there are many perks to self-promotion especially within social media despite the negative reputation Self-Promotion has.  “Self-promotion can be a good thing if your content is outstandingly useful and always adds value. This is how we think of our social sharing at Buffer. If we share the best content we have and do so in a helpful, actionable, high-utility way, we believe we are doing right by our audience.” Lee names a number of different ways to efficiently promote self/business/brand. The first rule he gives us is the 5- 3-2 rule. This rule suggests that for maximum promotion exposure results of the posts you publish, 5 should be content from others, 3 should be content from you and 2 should be personal status updates.

Lee also stresses the importance of engaging your audience towards the end of his article. “Sharing content is a broadcast; engaging the community is a conversation. We’ve found that having both parts to our social presence makes self-promotion all the more powerful. We can share our own content, and our followers know we are still there listening, replying, and engaging.” He goes further in the example he provides describing how replies benefit the act of self-promoting. It is important to receive feedback on posts because it lets you know that people are reading your stuff and in turn it is important you respond to posts on your news feed to let your audience know you are also reading their posts. Be Active!

Sheneka Adams, model, actress, writer and philanthropist, is a Facebook friend of mine. She has been seen on the covers of King magazine, in the hit television series The Game and generously donates to charities in her hometown Athens, GA. Adams is also an entrepreneur and sells a selection of hair extensions, hair products and clothing on her website SAdamscollection.com. Adams frequently updates her social media accounts keeping her fans updated with information about new projects she has planned and words of advice for her viewers. She also frequently uses her account to alert her fans/customers of any new deals or items her website may offer.

Sheneka Adam's Instagram

Sheneka Adam’s Instagram

When I first added Adams to my account she did not have too many Facebook friends or even received heaps of adoration at that time. I find her account to be especially interesting because I was able to watch her grow into the underground celebrity she is now. Every time a new social network came to light, Adams had an account and used all her other social media accounts to promote her new account. I witnessed Sheneka has had a few cases in which people have made fake account pretending to be her. This was helpful for adding to her relevance in the media but potentially harmful for her reputation depending on the information these fake accounts post. Adams also uses her social media sites to promote others. She is constantly making posts encouraging people to shop in a variety of places for different things. Being that Adams is also a writer, she uses the media to display this talent. She has a blog entitled SimplySheneka on WordPress in which Facebook is used to promote this account. Her blog is directed towards women who may be struggling and in need of advice. Her blog is not a popular as her other social media sites but it does receive a lot of recognition.

My Current Instagram

My Current Instagram

Hence, social media holds great importance in the business world and honestly has the potential to be a career in itself if used properly. The blog post entitled “How Celebs Use Social Media for Self-Promotion and Charity (and How to Steal Their Tactics)” and Kevan Lee’s “The Art of Self- Promotion on the Media” display strategies effective for relevant celebrities to stay relevant in the media and how the average can become relevant to media. I began my Instagram journey struggling to gain followers and currently I am sitting at 1,575 followers and I can honestly thank a few of the tips shared in these articles.

What I Read . . .

I agree with Handler on this topic . Although personally I would never choose to expose my body on a social network, if men have the ability to do it then why aren’t women granted the same rights? I feel Instagram restricts its users to a lot as far as posts and what constitutes as inappropriate. I do not feel Handler was at all irrational in her decision, in fact I would have taken the same next step she did and delete my Instagram account. I feel especially strong about this because social media claims female nudity is prohibited to “protect” children when in fact it is subconsciously instilling in them male/female standards. Men should be forced to follow the same guidelines women are on these networks or women should be allowed the same freedom men are given.

Common Sense

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Courtesy of loc.gov

I found the portion of the chapter dedicated to the efforts of Thomas Paine most interesting and influential. Although indirectly related to Paine’s stamp in journalism history, I was impressed by his ambition. “Aged thirty-seven, he had worked in various jobs as a corset-maker, teacher and excise officer.” (Standage, 139). He was experienced in many different fields. I have learned a lot about Paine in prior journalism course however, Standage provides an extremely detailed account of his work. “Paine decided to publish it as a pamphlet, under the title ‘Plain Truth,’ but he was persuaded by a friend to rename it Common Sense.” (Standage, 139) I was not aware that Paine’s Common Sense started with a different name. I feel Common Sense is a more attractive title. An author, “Candidus”, created a rival newspaper and titled it “Plain Truth.” “This may have impressed the aristocratic loyalists for whom it was written, but like the Latin rebuttals to Luther’s works, it failed to connect with a wider audience.” (Standage, 144) Luckily, Common Sense worked as a better title for Paine’s pamphlet. On the contrary, Candidus was clever in his attempt to bad mouth Paine’s work. I was also shocked to discover thatin only ten days the pamphlet “spread to New York, Virginia, and Massachusetts.” Being Common Sense was published in the 1700’s I expected the dispersal of news to take a bit longer. I was also intrigued by the growth of Common Sense. It began with the uncertainty of how it would sell to Paine having to choose who would print his paper.

I was mostly impressed by the great influence Paine’s pamphlet had on the public. “In late January 1776, General Charles Lee wrote to Washington: ‘Have you seen the pamphlet ‘Common Sense?’ I never saw such a masterly irresistible performance. It will if I mistake not, in concurrence with transcendent folly and wickedness of the ministry, give the coup-de-grace to Great Britain. In short, I own myself convinced, by the arguments of the necessity of separation.” He changed not only the political lives of the public but also the world of journalism. I had also never heard of Paine’s letter’s entitled “The American Crisis.” Even after all of his success achieving the declaration of independence, he continued his work through these pamphlets by “boosting morale during the Revolutionary war and arguing against any compromise with the British.” (Sta ndage, 145) Common Sense was the first step to journalist independ

Uncommon Grounds

I met with my friend Nicole from my freshman year here at SUNY Albany and her friend Marianne who just transferred here recently. We spoke on a few topics of my choice. We started to converse about the prison systems is in New York State. Nicole nor Marianne knew much about the topic but after explaining to them the effects of prison on a human being they agreed with me that we need to improve our prisons and establish better rights for convicts released from prison.

We also touched based on social media and how people portray themselves. Nicole and I agree that people’s Facebook and Instagram accounts are not accurate the portrayals of themselves but portrayals of who they want to be or who wish they were. Marianne did not exactly agree with this statement. She feels many people portray who they are it is just mostly the good parts being portrayed. Her thought compromised my opinion. I now consider the possibility that we give accurate descriptions of ourselves on our social networks but it may only be a PORTION of who we are.

Lastly we discussed the way women are objectified in society and what constitutes as “disrespecting yourself” and the media for women. Nicole and Marianne believe women should have the freedom to dress as they please without being judged. I understand the main point of their statement however I believe that there is a certain time and place for everything. We may not see it but Men are constantly judged for the way they dress as well. Not to say that woman shouldn’t wear what they want but Time and place matter. RESPECT YOURSELF!

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Marianne Trifiletti- 21 years old AND Nicole Jamieson- 20 years old

I was actually extremely hesitant to complete this assignment.  I am not comfortable speaking to strangers and to speak on topics that were controversial made things awkward. I noticed the entire time we spoke that just because I was unfamiliar with Marianne I wanted her to agree with my views. I felt the need to have a connection with Marianne and what better way than to share common interests. Upon completing our conversation I realize even though we did not agree on everything I was able to make a connection with Marianne.

Writing On The Wall

In Chapter Five of Standage’s Writing on the wall he explains “The Explosion of 1641.” Charles I (ruler from 1629-1640) ruled during the period called “Personal Rule” being he ruled without “recourse to Parliament.” What I found most interesting about this was the pamphlets printed from London’s presses. “Nowhere was this more apparent than in early 1642 in which both sides appealed to public opinion, thus recognizing its importance and increasing power.” (Standage. 93). I found this particularly interesting because its shows exactly the way the dispersal of news began and the great effect it had on society back then. People were concerned and wanted to be more aware of their environment whereas news must instantly grasp the audiences’ attention. We now dress our paper’s and websites with colors and advertisements that may interest our readers and if companies do not make these decisions carefully, it will effect the sales of their paper drastically in many cases. Also now-a-days just getting the name of your newspaper/magazine recognized if it isn’t already is a challenge

“Freedom of Press increased both the volume of titles and their variety. A range of new styles, voices, and uses for printed material emerged . . . In the subsequent decades the formal, Ciceronian style of prose writing gradually gave way to a more conversational, vernacular style.”(Standage, 95) I also found the unfolding of current journalist language to be interesting, language was much different in the 1600’s.  The language used in the news world now is mostly comprehensible for audiences now. Humans were restricted of many rights in the past hence the drastic change of news once the First Amendment was enforced. Reading a few breaking news articles from the past, even the typography was difficult to decipher so I was really impressed by the progression of language and appearance.

Also even though I never made the direct connection between Coffeehouses and news until reading Standage’s text, chapter six of the novel discuss the importance of coffee houses to news. “Whatever the topic, the main business of coffeehouses was the sharing and discussion of news and opinion in spoken, written and printed form; their patrons wanted to imbibe information as well as coffee and tobacco.” (Standage, 107). People of today use Starbucks and Dunkin Donuts to have these discussions and share their knowledge however sadly now through technology.. Coffeehouses served/serve as a way to get a variety of news and also opinions.